I haven’t written anything here for just over a week. I needed a break. I had stuff to deal with, and honestly, I just didn’t feel like writing anything.
I have not come back to writing feeling refreshed the way I had hoped. I’ve been feeling rather cynical and stressed out lately.
Writing has always been a way for me to cope with such feelings but I have other creative outlets I love as well.
One of those outlets is photography. Sometimes, I like to get rather artsy about it. I took a picture of myself today with an app that has filters. Yes, I know. Not that creative. I also have a photo editor that I use for my pictures and I decided to apply both applications and blend the two into a picture of myself.
I decided to take the picture and update my Facebook profile and in less than minutes, something a bit odd happened.
A friend/former work colleague who I have not spoken with since the beginning of June when I let them know I had taken stress leave and received absolutely no response from them, decided to suddenly reach out to let me know they missed me and wanted to see how I was doing.
Oh, and also that if I needed to talk, they were there and that they understand bipolar disorder because they have it too…I already know this about them so I’m not sure why they felt the need to reiterate it, but ok, cool.
This is honestly where I should be showing some grace and I replied with grace but inside, I’m not feeling so graceful about it…
That being said, because of the timing, I couldn’t help but wonder if my picture came off as so disturbing they actually thought I needed help? 😶 I personally found it to be sort of beautiful in its own way and I’m a huge fan of self expression even if people don’t get it or feel comfortable with it.
On that note, I do tend to forget that my threshold for “out there” tends to be a bit higher than most of the people that know me…very few people in my already small circle truly know me and so when I express myself in an artistic manner, I’m starting to think I freak people out a bit lol. Hence why I don’t show many people I know any of my work.
I suppose after that, I found myself back here. In my comfort zone. With like minded people who appreciate, welcome and encourage the art of self expression. Who don’t find it weird or worry about my mental health to the point they reach out to me to see if I’m ok in less than 10 minutes of posting something artistic about myself for a change.
A piece of myself.
Anyway, I’m going to share my photo here. Does this picture scream I need help? Lol. I mean, I definitely need all the help I can get, but honestly, sometimes, I just love to create stuff for the sake of being creative.
For the love of art. ❤