We Were On A Break

She thought that moving to the city.

Would put enough distance between them.

She was over him.

No going back.

Not this time.

For real now.

It’s over…

She started dating for the first time in her life.

She had a boyfriend or two in high school.

But…

This was big girl dating.

She started drinking more.

Smoking.

Made some friends.

Rebelled against all restrictions.

She was lost.

Happy.

And a bit of a mess…

She was a 20 something.

But…

The distance she put between them.

Would prove to be…

Not enough.

After 7 months.

She couldn’t take it.

She flew back to him.

She turned down the possibility of a new relationship.

For him…

Her loyalty was always with him.

Everything was going to be fine.

When she arrived home.

It felt…

Wow…

It felt like an olive green, matted rug.

Wood panel.

Dated.

Off…

But she ignored all that.

Tried to make the embrace with him feel the way she wanted it to feel.

She took her two suitcases with nothing else to her name.

To the bedroom they shared.

And would share again.

Restored and renewed.

Everything was going to be fine…

Until the day she talked to his sister.

Who slipped up her words.

Oh.

My.

Oops!

She didn’t know they were back together.

She thought he was still dating…

Her…

Dating?

Her?

What the fuck?

She had been home less than a week!

He wooed her back.

Wanted her back.

Right?

Just like she wooed and wanted him?

Only to be punched in the face.

With the truth.

That he lied.

She gave him the chance to fess up.

When he wouldn’t.

She confronted him.

He denied it.

She wouldn’t let it go.

He told her she was crazy.

Blame shifted like plates beneath the earth.

Eventually…

He “explained” it all.

Misunderstanding.

It’s not what you think.

And she accepted it.

Because…

Somehow…

This was all her fault really.

I mean…

When you think about it…

She was broke.

She had no place to go.

Nothing to her name.

She was now an imposition.

And.

She was stuck.

So…

She forgave him.

Again…

She loved him.

She could not.

And would not.

Give up.

The denial?

Beyond real…

The trust?

So incredibly broken…

The fights got worse.

A whole new low between them.

Why were the red flags not enough?

3 months in…

3 months!

3 months after the first time they met…

She knew to end things.

And she tried.

She really tried.

It crushed her to walk away.

But he loved the chase.

And…

She had never had a man.

(If you can call a 20 year old that)

Chase her before.

It was just like a soap opera.

Drunk on a fantasy.

Oh my did he love that chase.

More than he loved her.

And it would take almost 7 years.

For her to realize that.

7 years to finally figure it out.

She was just a game.

And she was playing it.

Sometimes better than him.

The best opponent he ever had.

And they battled it out.

For their love of a challenge.

No breaks allowed.

All…

or.

Nothing…

Until they were fully.

And utterly.

Destroyed…

4 thoughts on “We Were On A Break

  1. Oh, I loved this. You described the beauty and pain of being in a relationship so perfectly. I know how that feels like, to be on and off in a relationship, taking breaks and coming back again. It makes you feel wanted but cheated on at the same time, but you can’t let go the person, you don’t want to let go. You’re doing one hell of a job Cavelle, your words strike the heart instantly, the description, the emotions just make this what it needs to be. Always love your work ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, AB! πŸ™‚ ❀ I'm glad my poetry has been speaking to you. Lately, I have just felt the need to let it all out I guess. It's been very therapeutic. Poetry saves me from losing my mind as I'm sure it does for most of us who enjoy writing it. Lol, Have an awesome day! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

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