Swimming Lessons

I remember the first time.

I tried swimming in the deep end.

I would hang on to the sides of the pool.

For dear life.

I didn’t swim.

I would just pull myself along.

I remember that feeling I would get.

As I walked from the shallow end.

To that little hill.

That gradual decline.

Into the abyss.

That moment when your feet had to give way.

If you wanted to keep your head.

Above the water.

It was in that moment.

I would feel that slight loss of control.

And so…

I would start an embarrassing doggy paddle.

Back to the safe zone.

And watch in awe.

As others did backflips.

With no fear.

They would rise to the surface.

Like gods.

And make the immortal climb.

Up the sliver ladder.

Glistening in the sun.

Ready to do it again.

All day this would go on…

Inspired.

I would try to swim underwater.

Use my whole body to stay there.

Starting from the shallow end.

Thinking…

If I was already underwater.

It would make no difference.

Which end of the pool I was on.

I would push my feet off the wall.

With just enough force.

I would get just close enough.

To see…

The watery cliff.

But…

I just could not.

And so.

I would turn around.

All day this would go on…

To the edge.

And back.

Then…

One day…

Something changed…

I pulled myself along the side of the pool.

To the deep end.

Like I had.

Many…

Many times.

And it dawned on me…

Don’t worry about what is below.

Just swim across the surface.

Just like you do in the shallow end.

One side.

To the other.

Just look straight ahead.

All day this would go on…

And then…

I got bored.

Restless.

So…

I went back to the side of the pool.

Only this time.

I used the leverage.

To push myself down.

Down the gradual decline.

So that my feet would hit

And push off from each milestone of the descent.

Still by the sides of the pool.

Still with the edge to hang on to.

But…

Deeper than the shallow end.

Little moments of excitement.

Confidence…

I did not have time anymore.

To stand in awe of the gods.

I had to be one.

All day this would go on…

The goal.

Touch the very bottom of the pool.

And then…

Eventually…

The very middle of it.

No sides to be had.

How beautiful it was.

The moment.

I looked up.

And ascended to the watery sky.

All would become clear.

When I broke the surface.

And now I knew.

That each time I descended.

With intention.

To get to the bottom.

A reward was always waiting for me at the top.

Suddenly…

I was making the immortal climb.

Up the silver ladder.

Like a god.

I was glistening in the sun.

Ready to go again and again.

All day this would go on.

The shallow end.

Now…

A distant memory…

5 thoughts on “Swimming Lessons

    • Thank you ❤ Awe, I think it might be worth trying again but I understand not wanting to. I don’t mind a pool but lakes freak me out because you can’t see the bottom and the ocean terrifies me because…ocean lol

      Like

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