Confession…

Hey guys…so I’ve been going back and forth a lot about whether or not using a pseudonym has been right for me.

On the one hand, it acts as a shield and allows for more creative freedom I feel, but, I decided to Google my pseudonym today out of curiosity and it gave me a visceral reaction I didn’t expect. I mean sure, Veronica Belmont is a pretty common name…but the first thing that came up when I searched it, was a woman of the same name who is a media personality with over 50k followers and I don’t know, at that moment, to have the same name, it felt wrong to me.

I’m not sure why exactly. I mean you’re allowed to have the same name as someone else but it made me realize, what’s wrong with being transparent?

What’s wrong with my name?

Don’t get me wrong, there is no shame in a pseudonym and there are plenty of reasons to adopt one and so I don’t want to make anyone who uses one feel offended or anything like that. The main reason I took one on is that, I’ve been burned before. Bad. Having bipolar disorder, using my real name and a social platform, you have to be careful and in the past, I wasn’t. I guess I still live in fear of that consequence because it hurt people I care about and I can’t take it back.

I haven’t written in three years because of it and that dimmed a creative light in me…it almost snuffed it out. That being said, the only one who is beating me up over it at this point is me and I need to forgive myself and move forward so that I can express myself, as myself.

So on that note…My real name is Cavelle. Cavelle Swink. It’s nice to meet you. I know… My real name probably sounds more like a pseudonym than the pseudonym I was using 🙄 lol but that being said…I think it’s time to embrace my real name and stop living in fear of it. If any of you feel mislead or offended that Veronica was not my real name…well…you probably should have read my about page first as it was the first thing I addressed.

I’m 37 years old and I hail from Nova Scotia, Canada 🇨🇦 I am happily married for what will be two years in October and I still want to hang on to that newlywed title so don’t burst my bubble, ok? Lol truthfully, I have no idea what the cut-off is for newlywed status. A year maybe?

My husband and I are country folk. We love nature and the peace that country life brings to us. We own a diva of a dog named Molly and we own 9 chickens and 3 guinea hens. My husband recently came home from work and happily announce he placed an order for 10 baby turkeys due in August. I think he’s starting to take this hobby farm thing a bit too seriously…but…truth be told, I am excited to meet the baby turkeys. So cute! ❤

Don’t let the happily married bit fool you though. My husband and I both live with mental illness and we have overcome a lot to get to where we are. We have worked our asses off to become better people both individually and as a couple. We work to accept happiness into our lives and even then…you’re going to face storms. If you’re not willing to work on yourself, each other, and you’re not willing to go through the storms together, my advice is, don’t get married.

I believe in God. I lean towards the Christian version of said God as I was raised to and so it never quite leaves you even though I turned my back for years. I do struggle with the religion aspect though. However, I don’t regret having God introduced me to me during my childhood. I had a rough one and so believing in God got me through way more than Santa Claus ever did. You know, I find it funny that parents don’t mind lying to their kids about an old man that breaks into your home via a chimney to leave you gifts, but the idea of getting a kid to believe in God is considered brainwashing. Whatever floats your boat of course but it’s just a thought.

My creative outlets are writing (of course) and more recently, podcasting. I’m loving it already. I love to sing. Both sides of my family are musically inclined. I’ll say that I can carry a tune that won’t hurt your ears…too bad lol.

I also love photography, gardening, and my own company.

On that note, I feel because my blog is still very much a newborn, this is the time to make this decision. I still struggle to figure out what makes me tick but I’ve decided it’s ok to be me…whatever that is…

Here’s to finding out!

Cheers! 🌸

Cavelle

5 thoughts on “Confession…

  1. To be honest, I first thought this to be another pseudonym, haha. I’m glad you decided to come out with your real name, that’s one step towards building confidence. You sound like such a happy family, I’d be so happy to own such a farm. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I’d love to hear you sing in one of your podcasts, only when you’re comfortable with it. I feel so happy to have found your blog, Cavelle! Really nice to know you! Much love ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, AB! 🙂 ❤ You know, I think you're right…when you mention confidence. I do struggle with that. Very much so. I may become brave enough to sing lol…one thing at a time I guess.

      I actually updated this post and revised it a bit because the truth is, yes, I can say I have a happy family, but, when I read that, I realized, it's good to note that it's not all rainbows and butterflies and so I included some of that in my revision.

      I'm really glad that you are enjoying my blog and my podcast and I appreciate your support and encouragement. I'm glad we have crossed paths. It's why I love blogging. You connect with people from all over the world, all walks of life. You learn things. Sending love your way as well! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad you decided to include some other things in the post too. You’re right, life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, we need to accept the hardships too and it’s nice to see you doing that. You’ll be brave, with time. For now you’re doing great. Take care ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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