Changing it up, Opening up, and Shouting out…

I just started my blog a little over a week ago and I have been going back and forth on what I should zero in on. My niche. Poetry is definitely a true love of mine and I thought, yes, this will be my entire focus. Poetry. But now, I find myself wanting to open myself up more. I have more to say but because I have been burned before with my writing, I’m honestly scared to express myself beyond poetry.

That is not to say you cannot be extremely expressive through poetry because you totally can.

It’s been a theme and no surprise to those who have been kind enough to follow and support me already, that I live with bipolar disorder. It’s part of the fuel for my writing and it helps me deal with it…but…it has burned me before. I have written things in the throw of an episode that has done some real damage to my personal life and so I actually stopped writing for a few years. The one thing I truly love and consider myself fairly good at… just died and for a while crushed all my creativity.

Because of this, Veronica is a pseudonym and I have not told anyone in my personal life the name of my blog, how to find it…nothing.

I thought maybe this was going to stifle me but it has done the complete opposite of that. Not only has a fake name help me to feel more comfortable expressing myself, but it’s also helped me to get out of my head and really try to understand what’s going on in there.

I told myself I wouldn’t give away my age but I feel it plays a role in where I am right now. I’m 37 years old. The 40 side of 30. No, it’s not old in the grand scheme of things but, when I look at all that has happened up to this point in my life, I feel like there is no more time to waste suppressing every damn thing and it’s time to stop avoiding what I am good at.

I’ve already made some wonderful connections on here just by participating in conversations on other people’s blogs. Yes, ok, we all know it helps traffic of course but honestly, it feels so incredibly good to be among other writers again. To connect with a community that at its core is looking to connect through their love of writing. I’m not really into conformity…like…at all. But, I have to say it feels good to feel like I actually belong somewhere. A place where I get to expand my mind, learn new things, connect with people. A place where I can be challenged, inspired, and even offended. We need to be offended sometimes and look inward to see what the perceived offense is trying to say to us.

(cue mystical wind chimes…)

Anyway, I just needed to get this out I guess. Oh, and while I’m at it, I need to give a shout-out to Ben Alexander at

The skeptic’s kaddish. He asked me a simple question that for some reason I failed to answer when I created my blog. During our conversation surrounding this post :

https://skepticskaddish.com/2021/07/07/wordpress-versus-facebook/

The question was:

“So why refer to yourself as a fraud?”

🤨

Good question! And so I answered it and then from there proceded to answer the question on my about page because…duh…should have been the first thing I addressed but hey, I’m rusty, ok? lol

I don’t know why, but that simple question just really stuck and so thank you very much Ben Alexander for challenging me.

In turn, this conversation opened up more conversation and from that, I made a wonderful connection with Cindy Georgakas. She has a wonderful blog called Unique Times. Here’s a quick excerpt from her about page:

Cindy has 35+ years experience in health and wellness. She studied Occupational and Recreational Therapy with an emphasis in Psychology at San Jose State University. She started her career in wellness offering personal training, leading health facilities and teaching workshops. She opened her own aerobics studio and has continued to expand.

After getting to know Cindy a little bit more, I admire her already. She’s strong, loving and she is no stranger to the pain mental illness can cause not only to the one who lives with it but to those who love someone with mental illness.

You would think the conversation would have stopped there but I made another connection with Andrew Blair. Nerd moment…that last sentence just rhymed lol. He also lives with bipolar disorder and he was able to very much relate to writing during a bipolar episode and how that can be damaging. Not that I was happy he experienced the same thing but, it was good to just know I was not alone and that someone understood. If you want to get to know Andrew, you can find him at Re-theologizing.

I’ve realized after making these connections already and the snowball effect it can have, I personally need to come out of my shell a bit because I actually like making connections. I struggle to make them in my everyday life because I am incredibly introverted and thoroughly enjoy my own company, but because writing exists, I can have my cake and eat it too.

Very grateful for this community, and I hope to make more connections along the way. ❤

Sincerely,

Veronica

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